baddy shtick: Ten Things Somebody Should Have Told Me About Having Kids ...

Newborn child, seconds after birth. The umbili...

Having children is a wonderful experience.? The love, laughter and joy never ends.? Okay, it is not all joyful.? As a matter of fact, some parts of being a parent?are rather?unpleasant.

Somebody should have told me what to expect once the baby arrived in my home.? Someone should have sat me down and said, ?Nate, I have something to tell you.? It is about having children.? There are things you MUST know prior to becoming a parent.?

If I had known all the challenges, would I still have chosen to become a parent? ?Hmm?that is a good question, for another day.

But I am hear, once again to help out.? For those of you thinking of having kids, this info is for you.? Read and learn.

Newborns do not sleep alone.

Newborns like warmth.? They like comfort.? They like being very close to their parents.? As a matter of fact, what they like best is to sleep on top of their parents?all the time.? It is a myth that a newborn will sleep for hours in a crib.? Prepare yourself to be sitting with a small child on top of you, for?hours on end.

Toddlers do not like to eat.

Feeding a toddler is difficult.? The reason is their growing rate has slowed down considerably from being an infant.? They no longer are hungry all the time.? Toddlers also start to develop specific tastes for certain foods.? Agony will set in quickly if you try to feed a toddler, who does not want to eat.

Two year olds are very emotional.

We all have heard the term, ?terrible twos, but really two isn?t so bad.? You just need to keep in mind a two-year old has little control over their emotions.? One minute laughing, the next lying in the middle of the grocery store kicking the rice bags.

Potty training will not go well.

People brag all the time how their child was potty trained in one week.? They say their child was only 18 months when they learned.? They are lying.? Potty training, the correct term is potty learning, will be difficult.? You will want you child potty-learned much sooner than your child is ready.? This creates pressure to get the child out of diapers.? Pressure and potty learning do not go well.?? Forcing someone to do something that is supposed to happen naturally, does not work.

Four year olds are ferocious.

Parents spend too much time worrying about the terrible twos.? Two year olds take naps, forgive quickly are still little.? Four year olds are the ones to worry about.? They are strong, determined and smart.? Four year olds have tremendous stamina.? They can outlast you on any struggle.

Starting kindergarten will be the end of freedom.

Kindergarten is fun, but?you must understand your?flexible schedule?will no ?longer be flexible once your child begins elementary school.? The school calendar rules how and when your family activities will be organized.? Individual parental needs fall secondary a child?s school activities.

Laundry will become your part-time job.

I remember doing laundry once a week as a single person.? Now I do two loads a day, every day.?? Invest in a great washer? and dryer.? Always wash, fold and put away on the same day.? Otherwise clothes will stay in baskets and on couches for weeks.

Cooking will become another part-time job.

No one ever told me how much cooking I would be doing as a mother.? If they did, I would not have signed up.? I do not like to cook.? Every day, while kids are living in your home, you will need to prepare one to three meals.? It is the worst.

Kids are gross.

Children barf, poop, pee, bleed, fart, drool, ooze, burp,?and stink.? This will happen all on one day sometimes.? If you can?t handle any of these things, do not sign up for parenthood.

Children are expensive.

Children need food, clothes, medical care, housing, school supplies, and more food.? The older they get the more money it will need to keep them alive.? Saving money is easy.? Just say no to having kids.